I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
