the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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