God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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