Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
