I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
