How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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