I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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