she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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