u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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