We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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