kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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