Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I want to be your penis for a week.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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