I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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