Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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