Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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