WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize