I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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