my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
