just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
