making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
