She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
This is classic penis vs brain.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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