I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize