Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
