K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
