so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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