just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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