easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
