I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm getting married
To pizza
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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