Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
