is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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