I looked at my own cervix.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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