There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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