you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
