My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I supernannyed him into submission
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