i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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