The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
