ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
