At least make sure they are 18
Why
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
