maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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