How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you didnt know i had herpes?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
