last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
