Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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