I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
