If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
