Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
