Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
