Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
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