Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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