I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
