Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
