If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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