The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
