At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
