I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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