matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
