You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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