I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
