Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
