Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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