I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
