he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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