1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
