If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Fuck appropriateness.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
